What is the value of a mom? This is a question that begs an answer on a regular basis. It is not an entry level job with part-time hours. When a mom is home with a baby, pre-schoolers or teens, she often struggles through the mundane or frustration of the daily grind. The repetitious whirl of repetitive domestic duties blurs the pertinent and permeating preeminence of a mom’s impact on her children. While the significance of her influence seems hazy in the everyday dash, a heavenly perspective motivates moms to lighten their step, illuminate the successes of the past, and enjoy the simple gifts of today.
Adult Children Impacted by Their Mom
There are countless stories of influential men and women who attribute their success to the work and determination of their mothers. Celebrated Neurosurgeon Dr. Benjamin Carson shares in his book, The Big Picture, that his mother was the driving force behind his love of reading. She was committed to her son having a bright future and knew that education was the means to achieve it. While there are many success stories of moms helping their children achieve success, there are also moms who fall short.
A recent discussion with my dad solidifies what many of us know--Moms matter. He has counseled adult men whose lives were negatively impacted by their mothers. This speaks to the gravity of a mom's influence. After some assessment, he commented that the men he is currently counseling were damaged by the neglect of their moms. Most of these men report an absent, neglectful mom who either shirked her nurturing because of woundedness or selfish ambition.
Moms often come from painful places in their childhood to find themselves unable to communicate emotionally with their own child. Like a vicious cycle they fail to prevent the same neglect or abuse they received as a child. Perhaps a mother is working so much that her mind is never with a child even when they are physically together. Maybe she only concerns herself with her own ambitions so she never dreams and plans for her child’s future. Perhaps these moms never had a mother who was intentional in meeting the nurturing needs of her children.
Mothering Necessitates Planning and Time
Being a mother necessitates planning growing seasons. For example, in infancy moms need to sing, play and feed purposefully. Even holding while feeding offers a time to make eye contact, to smile, to sing, to read and to stroke lovingly. Although a nursing mom naturally spends these hours touching a child, the mother who elects to bottle feed can be just as purposeful if they resist the urge to prop up the bottle instead of holding it in order to save time.
As a child enters pre-school years, activities with a goal stimulate the mind and growth of a child. When preparing for pre-school, moms might select toys and activities that grow a child in words, math and alertness. Often in these early years, a mom notices talents in her child. This often prompts her to search out classes, books, people, opportunities and training to expand the child’s skills. As maturity evolves through the elementary and teen years, a mom’s attentiveness to the child’s growth invites experiences that unlatch future income options and adeptness in a variety of areas.
We all have a mother. Perhaps your mom was not the mom you wanted. Assuming you are an adult, mark the areas where your mom did a wonderful job. Where you have disappointments, adopt the attitude, “It is what it is.” Honor your mom for the things she did correctly. If there are serious problems, search out counseling as a third party greatly increases working forward successfully.
For those of you who have had an outstanding mom, celebrate her! Show her thoughtfulness and kindness every chance you are given. Call her on a regular basis. Discover what makes her feel loved. Spend time with her as often as possible. Tell others how she has impacted your life. I can certainly say that my mother is reflected in me daily. Let me tell you about my mom.
My mother taught me domestic skills, serving, teaching, homeschooling and spiritual living. When I was a senior in high school, she allowed me to run the house so that I would have confidence that I could do everything I needed once I was out on my own. This included laundry, grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning and general maintenance. Because she had really honed in on these skills individually, there were only minor bumps as I worked to combine them. From the time I was 12 years old, I taught beside her in Sunday school classes, VBS and five-day clubs in rural areas. My parents were missionaries before I was born, so I grew up seeing churches planted. Through my years as an adult, I continued to serve in these areas. Giving back multiplies the investment of my mother.
Because we lived out of the country, my mother faced the choice of homeschooling or boarding school as I approached Kindergarden. The decision was easy. Mom spent my early years reading to us and teaching us school alongside her missionary responsibilities. I remember those early years with fondness. Of all the different school experiences of our academic years, I loved homeschooling best. While homeschooling is not the best selection for every mom or every student, I am grateful my mom chose to homeschool us.
Lastly, but probably most importantly, my mother guided me spiritually. As a girl about five years old, I noticed that my mother would rise early and head to the patio to read her Bible and pray. This pattern peaked my curiosity. I decided to eavesdrop. I saw her in her chair reading and praying. As I moved closer, I could hear her talking to God as if he was truly real. Over the years, I heard her speak to God about specific needs. Then I recognized how he would answer. Her consistency and sincerity drew me to the Lord.
Hooray for MOMS!
Being a mom is hard work every day. To be entrusted with the life, health and development of a tiny human growing into a mature, reflective and capable adult takes commitment and prayer. A mother’s investment insists on time and energy covered with prayer and hope. If you are a mom look beyond the daily busyness. Look to the future results of each of your everyday activities. Stop to plan. Dream goals. Implement.
Celebrate the gift that God has given you when he entrusted you with motherhood. What an honor! Perhaps I will relate my struggle to become a mother in a future blog. While we are immensely thankful for our five children, we grieved the loss of six babies as we started our family. Many days I doubted whether we would have a family. But that is a story for another day. Today, I am grateful to be a mom!
Enjoy your mothering!! Celebrate all your jobs! Appreciate the season!
What Does a Mom DO Everyday?
When your day seems long and unproductive, make a list of what you do all day. Here are a few things that might be on your list:
baby feeder, burper, diaper changer, bather, rocker
house cleaner - vacuum, mop, dust, bathrooms, sorter, organizer, delegator
mender of rips, hems, buttons
seamstress when needed
gifter for birthdays, Christmas, babies, weddings, anniversaries and more
dry cleaner dropper and collector
hair stylist for everyone
hair cut person
Sunday school teacher
birthday party giver (invitations, cake maker, party favors, game planner, thank you note person)
attend church, meetings, music practices, football games, soccer games, baseball practices, mom’s meetings
tamer of the paper monster (We all have these, don’t we? Do you have mail?)
cleaner -upper (Really, can no one else clean up gross messes?)
social calendar coordinator
routinely deep cleaning the garage, closets, ovens, refrigerator, bathrooms and such
seasonal clothes sorting and purchasing for all children
shoe accessor and shopper (a revolving activity here)
cutting 100 nails every Friday night (Do the math for five kiddos. I have graduated out of this job, but it was memorable.)
car washer (Isn’t the cleaning out process longer than the washing and vacuuming part?)
driving instructor (No one tells you how fun this job will be.)
locator of all missing or “unseen” items
doctor visit appointment maker and transporter
teacher of all academic subjects (includes selecting materials, purchasing them at the best price and planning the daily assignments, grading and correcting)
historian - photographer, journalist, video taker
lover of books
wasp and spider killer
referee (One of my least favorite jobs)
date for my husband to work related events (I like this one.)
or just a date for my hubby for no reason
lover of the Lord
child of God
worshipper of the God of the universe
A Standing Ovation
In conclusion, this blog affirms the immeasurable influence a mom possesses over her child. Any mom willing to dedicate the time and work required to motherhood deserves a standing ovation. Act with confidence! Feel appreciated today!
Know your worth!
Mom, you are valuable!